The Cost of Playing Small: Why Women Must Think Bigger, Move Bolder, and Demand More

Every time a woman shrinks herself, whether in a boardroom, a negotiation, or her own dreams, there’s a cost. A cost that doesn’t just impact her, but the people who look up to her, the women who will come after her, and the communities that need her leadership.

We’re taught to be grateful, to be humble, to wait our turn. And while gratitude is important, there is a fine line between appreciation and settling. Too often, women accept less than they deserve because they’ve been conditioned to believe that asking for more is risky, that taking up space is aggressive, and that wanting better is ungrateful.

But let’s be real. Playing small is not just a personal decision. It’s a loss.

How Women Hold Themselves Back Without Realizing It

Some of the most ambitious women still make small moves without realizing it. It’s not about whether you’re successful or not. It’s about whether you’re moving in the full capacity of your power.

Here’s how playing small shows up:

Undervaluing Your Work Not negotiating your salary or pricing your business services too low because you don’t want to seem difficult.
Waiting for Permission Holding back on applying for leadership roles or launching a business because you don’t feel ready yet.
Avoiding Discomfort Sticking with what’s safe instead of making the bold moves that would actually elevate you.
Staying in the Background Knowing you have ideas that could shift an entire conversation but keeping them to yourself.

And here’s the reality. While you hesitate, someone else is stepping into the space you were meant to fill.

Women Who Thought Bigger and Changed the Game

History doesn’t celebrate the women who played it safe. It remembers the ones who made bold moves, who spoke up when it was uncomfortable, and who created opportunities instead of waiting for them.

Whether it’s an entrepreneur who took the leap despite uncertainty, a corporate leader who demanded the promotion, or a pioneer who refused to accept the status quo, the common thread is that they refused to shrink themselves to fit the room. Instead, they expanded the room.

If you look at your own journey, there was a moment when you had to choose between playing small and stepping fully into what you knew you were capable of. Maybe you didn’t always make the right choice, but the good news is, you can always choose differently moving forward.

How to Stop Playing Small and Move With Intention

If you’re tired of waiting for your moment, here’s how to create it.

Decide that you deserve more. Stop justifying why you should stay where you are. Start thinking about what’s actually possible.
Move before you feel ready. Confidence comes from action, not just preparation. You will never feel 100 percent prepared for the next level. Do it anyway.
Challenge environments that make you shrink. If you’re in spaces that force you to dim your light, reconsider whether they deserve your presence.
Surround yourself with people who think bigger. If you’re the biggest thinker in your circle, you’re in the wrong circle.

What Happens If You Don’t?

The cost of playing small isn’t just personal. It’s generational. It’s cultural. It’s financial.

Women have been conditioned to believe that patience and humility will eventually lead to what they deserve. But the truth is, power belongs to those who claim it. Opportunities go to those who position themselves for them. And success follows those who refuse to settle.

This Women’s History Month, challenge yourself. Not just to reflect, but to move differently. Because the reality is, history remembers the bold.